Authentically Mine

It is a darn good thing that today was a slow day for me at work. I had a fantastic appointment with Stacey the woman who will be my Diabetic Nurse Practicioner from now until/when/if (I am superstitious about assuming anything) I get pregnant, though my pregnancy and after I deliver. She was so nice and spent over 90 minutes with me explaining everything.

I know a lot about Diabetes in general and carb counting and such but she answered every other question I had and made me feel good about where I am. The goal is 6.0-6.5 for 6 months before starting to try and conceive. The GREAT NEWS is that my last A1C test I was at 6.5. So if my next one is 6.5 or lower I am in great shape. If it is higher then I just have to work a little more to get it down and keep it down and that should be much easier with me on insulin. I have started as of tonight counting carbs closely and being insane about what I eat. This way there is a better chance I will be at 6.5 when I have my levels tested on March 26th.

I always thought I would freak out over having to go on insulin/be on an insulin pump but today I was completely fine with it. I was intrigued by my options and fascinated at the technology. I am sure it will frustrate me at times but right now I am OK, slightly overwhelmed by all of the information but OK.

Basically I get to choose from two different insulin pumps that are covered by my insurance - one has the added feature of continuous blood sugar monitoring - but that "add on" is considered a "perk" and not covered by my insurance. The added cost would be about $100 every 10 days.....can you say NO THANK YOU. I can live with doing what I am now which is testing my blood sugar levels  - only instead of 4 times a day I will be testing 8 times a day - for 9 months. Just call me the Plucky Pincushion. So the Animas 2020 looks like it will be my best friend starting on March 26th and Stacey will be my next best friend. When/if I get pregnant I will talk with her 3x a week. It's a good thing I really liked her!

I think any down feelings I have about all of the finger sticking and insulin are overshadowed by the thought of what I get out of it at the end. The better I am about keeping tight control on my blood sugar the heather a baby will be.

Stop for moment. I know you are busy. I know you are excited about it being Friday and about Spring coming, but just stop for one moment and think if you know someone who has been affected by cancer.

I bet you do, and if you don't then you can think about me. I had cancer when I was 3 and had my left kidney removed. I am now a happy healthy 36 year old because of the wonderful treatment I received at Dana Farber Cancer Institute.

I wish I could run a marathon but that is not going to happen. My friend and co-worker Katie who is about one of the coolest people you will ever meet is more in shape than anyone I know and she is running the Boston Marathon on Team Dana Farber this April.

If you can skip coffee for a week - think about donating $5.00

If you can bring your lunch for one week instead of buying - think about donating $20

If you can skip buying that new sweater/etsy item/cool piece of jewlery/books you want - consider donating $50

If you know someone who has been touched by cancer or even if you don't, please think about helping Katie out on her run and donating. Every single dollar helps and no amount is too little.

Stop for a moment and think...what if you needed someone running for you?

Since my journey to try and have a baby is going to be a long one, I am trying to keep everything in check and take everything one step at a time. You know "in due time" - no pun intended.

Sometimes playing it low key is hard. I get excited at the idea of being pregnant, of becoming a mommy and all that goes along with it. I know I have many steps to take before we start trying but it is still exciting. I have to temper that to keep everything in perspective.  I have to temper it with the reality (that every trying to get pregnant mom has) that it might not work. I have to temper it by remembering that if it doesn't work I am still blessed and have a wonderful life. All that and my excitement is automatically tempered by the number of things I have to DO before I can start having pregnancy sex.

But you know what I don't care tonight. I am excited at what the rest of 2008 has to bring and all the possibilities. I am exited for the time I can pee on a stick in hopeful expectation so if I post now and again along the way and you think..."oh no she's getting her hopes up so soon...." You better believe I am. Hope is a powerful thing. Toss in a little faith (which I am working on cultivating) and the possibilities are endless.

Honestly it is just wrong the way that American Idol has the person they just voted OFF the show sing "one last time". The person probably just wants to get the hell off the stage and they have to endure this interview and chat with the judges and then sing again. Urgh.